So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
