Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
