well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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