Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
wow bdsm is so cute
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
