How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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