You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
