You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
