Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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