Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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