Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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