I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
