It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
