Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
