So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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