Non-Jews are for practice
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
