dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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