the day after is always just damage control
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
