I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
