Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
