Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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