I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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