I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
