Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
