there's paper in my vomit.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
