Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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