Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this will be a night to untag.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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