I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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