This girl is more easily done than said...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
