It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
