btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
