they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
