Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
