GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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