Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
