very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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