i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you win again, gameday.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
