This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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