how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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