At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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