i don't like sucking hair
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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