guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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