Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
