I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
