He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you never un-have a 4some
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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