i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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