So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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