Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
