Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize