I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
