btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
