Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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