Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just tell him i said nine months
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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