I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize