watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
