I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize