i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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