Kiss
Puke
oh god the rape fog is back!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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