i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
